New House, New Me – Reflections Of My First 2 Weeks On My Own

Here to ThereWhen I drove away from my old place in Long Beach, I was crying. I loved that house. I loved being right by the beach, right by the shopping street. I loved being able to walk everywhere – to the store, to restaurants, to fun activities, to the beach. I remember movies by the beach, running by the ocean in the morning, seeing Catalina Island from my kitchen window while washing dishes, picking up a Starbucks before work, and walking to the playground with Christopher. Lots of memories with Christopher were made here. Holidays were fun in this neighborhood, everyone got so into Halloween and Christmas with decorating and I just love it! When we had originally found this house, I knew I’d want to stay forever. I absolutely loved the house, the neighborhood, and the person I moved there with. Driving away from it all was a bittersweet moment.

Not just the driving away was sad, though. The driving to was just as scary. I found a place in Yorba Linda in an apartment community. Going back from house to apartment wasn’t that big of a deal. I am still in a wonderful neighborhood and have quite the spacious apartment. And I really don’t mind apartment living and having pool and gym right here for free. Continue reading

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It All Came Crashing Down

too muchMy posts have been spotty lately. That’s because I’ve been going through another wave of pain, trying to work out all the different feelings that came crashing down all at once. Normally, I would have written them down here and shared with you… because a big reason for me to write this blog is to hopefully touch someone’s heart by letting them know “Hey, someone else has these problems, too. You are not alone.” But this time around, everything was so overwhelming that I just wanted to run away from it and not deal with it at all. I still don’t quite know how to put this feelings-meltingpot into words because during the last 2 weeks, I’ve been going through a roller coaster. Continue reading

When A Picture Speaks More Than A Thousand Words

should I get divorced?So it was my birthday. On paper, I get to spend this day with my son. I don’t have to share it or give it up, no matter what. Just that my birthday happens to also be son’s cousin’s birthday; and it was her first birthday this year. First birthdays are always special and they’re celebrated big. So was this one. The entire family was there, all the kids were there, and there was of course no way that I was going to keep Christopher away from that. So I had to be there, too… Continue reading

The Grass Is Always Greener Where You Water It

after divorceThis is not a whining post. It is a post written for women who think about getting a divorce. And really, it’s to stop them from doing so.

Granted, there are legitimate reasons to get divorced. If your husband is abusing you and you truly live in hell, by all means: Get out! And  take your kids! But if you’re thinking of getting out because “your feelings have changed” or “It’s just not working anymore” or something like that, then I want to implore you: Pull yourself together and remember the vows you have once made. I’m sure you weren’t kidding when you spoke them. Continue reading

What If The Flag Hadn’t Still Been There?

Happy 4th of July

Only in Long Beach do you get Mimosas out of a Styrofoam cup for brunch. But hey, they made up for the lack of glasses by giving us triple mimosas… and after that, everything seemed a bit better for the moment. The better was certainly enhanced by these roller skating girls, which, I am going to say, you also only find in Long Beach! Continue reading

Not A Princess (Part 3)

Not A Princess 3Read Part 1.

Read Part 2.

Not A Princess (3)

I sit at the beach behind my favorite building with the green copper roof that looks like a castle
with a dead dream of being a princess.
Because princesses aren’t happy either and die in the end. Continue reading

Not A Princess (Part 2)

Not a PrincessRead Part 1.

Not A Princess (2)

I look out the window and I see the green copper roof of the old building I love
And I know I’ll never live there
because it looks like a castle and I am not a princess.
And I am not fit for a queen. Continue reading